How To Heal Resentment By Living In Your Truth

When it comes to resentment, we often associate it with others. But, could it be possible that we need to heal resentment towards ourselves? 

Recently, I found myself in a social situation where I chose outside validation over being real and possibly disliked. 

As I reflected on it, I realized that sometimes, I choose the road of least resistance by being nice but fake instead of considerate and honest. 

And I wouldn’t say I liked that at all.

What prompted me to look at it was the feeling afterward. When I didn’t live in my truth but chose the behavior I thought would please others, I found myself angry and resentful. 

Of course, I would blame others first. Eventually, I realized that the resentment I felt was towards myself. Since I wasn’t living in my truth, my inner self was sending me a message. 

In many instances when we interact with others, we will have to choose by asking ourselves this question:

Do I want to be true to myself, or do I want to please those around me? 

When we choose to please or seek validation, we are operating from the place of social survival. The key word here is SURVIVAL. 

But when we choose to stand up for ourselves and speak our truth, risking that we won’t be validated and maybe even disliked, we are healing the part of ourselves that was living based on social approval.

When we do that, we move from survival to wholeness. 

Therefore, healing resentment towards ourselves starts by having the courage to be true to who we are, what we are and aren’t okay with, or when we want to say no. 

How to find the courage to live in your truth and heal resentment

1. Go within

Take some time to reflect on the past and instances when you were being nice instead of real, and sought social approval, validation, or people-pleased. 

Then ask yourself,

“What was the basis of this? What was I trying to get out of it? Was fear driving my behavior? 

I know that these questions are intimidating and, at times, confronting. It helps to take a few deep breaths while reminding yourself that you are safe, and this is a powerful way to raise your awareness and grow. Then, go ahead and work through these questions. 

They help you be more conscious when you act in ways that don’t align with your authentic self and begin to heal the resentment or anger that’s inside. 

2. Put things into perspective

Choosing the road of least resistance provides a slight relief in the moment. You don’t have to have that uncomfortable conversation or feel awkward when you say no. 

I get that. But I want you to look at what comes afterward. 

You may change the way you see the person you interact with, become angry with them (which is really with yourself), and create stories about how much of a bad person they are. 

We all have been in those situations when we agreed to something with a smile on our faces while turning the next moment and rolling our eyes. 

To heal resentment we feel toward ourselves is to decide that being kind but truthful is more important than anything else. 

Will we revert to our old ways? Probably yes, and that’s okay. 

The point is to be aware of these situations and heal resentment from the past while addressing unconscious fears that drive this behavior.

3. Face what you fear

The best way to deal with your fears is to face them. 

You can ask yourself a series of questions. 
Here are a few questions to help you get started:

“What part of me wants to be validated by this person, and what does it mean if they validate me?”

“Do I value being socially nice over being true to myself? If yes, what is the basis of this?”

“What is my biggest fear regarding social acceptance and what others think of me?”

“To heal resentment, I need to make changes when interacting with others by being authentic, kind, and straightforward. What do I fear most about this change, and how can I support myself moving forward?”

What are your thoughts on living in your truth, and what is the next best step you can take to heal resentment? Feel free to share it with our community and leave a comment below.