Inner Child Work: 4 Ways How To Heal Your Past And Grow Beyond It

Inner child work is an effective healing practice to grow beyond the past while learning to approach ourselves with more compassion.  

The power of inner child work is in accessing our old wounds while recognizing what part of ourselves needs healing. It is a way of reparenting and working towards emotional maturity. 

One of the breakthroughs I experienced within my inner child work was when I recognized the angry child in me. I always shied away from anger since I knew who I could become when I felt it. 

For years, I was pushing my angry inner child away. Eventually, it all broke loose. I was dealing with a broken fridge at home, and scheduling the maintenance was problematic. Suddenly, I got so angry and upset that it immediately alarmed me. Since I was learning how to better self-regulate, I witnessed my emotions without reacting. 

That’s when I understood that my angry inner child was never acknowledged, let alone healed. The moment I recognized her and stopped pushing her away, I allowed myself to release lots of anger.  

It is my deepest hope that this article will provide the same for you. Here are four ways how to use inner child work to heal your past and grow beyond it. 

1. Recognize different versions of your inner child 

There are different stages or versions of your inner child. Here is how you differentiate them:

• Define the age and what happened. Let’s say you were 5 years old and your parents divorced, or you were 8, and someone said something that hurt you, and you memorized it. 
• Define emotions or triggers you want to change but keep coming back to old behaviors. This observation serves as a clue as to where you need to look and pay attention. 
• Observe how it is manifesting in your life today. For example, if you felt rejected as a child, do you find yourself often experiencing rejection as an adult? Or do you fear rejection? 

2. Acknowledge her and validate her 

As I mentioned earlier, recognizing and validating my angry inner child brought deep healing because it allowed me to release suppressed emotions. 

The next step is to validate what she feels. It happens that as children, we are ridiculed when we cry or when something hurts us. Understandably, we do the same as adults. When doing the inner child work, any ridicule or judgment of what we feel must be kept out of our healing. This is the time to understand, validate, nurture, and love.  

3. Ask questions 

There are 4 powerful questions that I teach in my “Healing Inner Child” class. Ask these questions to each version of your little self. 

Question #1: What are some of the things you wanted a trusted adult to tell you at that age?

What are some of the comforting or nurturing words you needed to hear?

Question #2: How can you forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now? 

If you judge or harshly criticize yourself, it’s time to bring self-forgiveness practice into your healing space. 

Question #3: How can you reframe that situation? 

Let’s say one of your parents was, at times, emotionally unavailable because he/she was struggling with depression. As a child, you can interpret this situation as your parents not loving you. However, as an adult, you may find a better explanation and understand that this wasn’t about you. This is what reframing means. 

Question #4: What wisdom can you learn from the wounded inner child?

4. Reconnect with your inner child through meditation 

Whether we look at inner child work or self-forgiveness work, meditation is one of the best tools to connect with ourselves on a deeper level. 

If you are practicing or learning inner child work, I highly recommend checking out my guided meditation for self-love and healing your inner child. 

However, there are also steps you can follow on your own or with your favorite meditation music. 

• Find a comfortable seat without distractions, close your eyes, and take 5 to 10 deep breaths. 
• Visualize a bench. You can see this bench anywhere you like. In the forest, on the beach, by the mountains, or in a pure white room. 
• See your adult and your little self sitting on this bench next to each other. 
• Look at your inner child with the utmost compassion and observe every detail about her. What is she wearing, what is her hairstyle, and how does she look?
• By using the first question, tell her anything you would want the trusted adult to tell you when you were her age. Then, express words of validation for her feelings and acknowledge where she is emotionally. Simply put, be willing to meet her where she is. 
• Lastly, if it feels appropriate for you, give her a big, warm hug and stay in this loving connection for a few moments, or even minutes. Feel the safety this bonding moment provides. 
• Stay in silence for some time, and then open your eyes. 

Practice this simple meditation daily by using different versions of your inner child. 

If you are learning to navigate and practice inner child work but feel a bit stuck, let me help you. I am offering a 1-hour complimentary coaching session to women willing and committed to their healing and growth. Click HERE, fill out a simple form, and let me know if you are interested.