Your Mind Is Not Your Enemy: 3 Ways How To Better Manage Your Thoughts

Your mind is the most sophisticated mechanism that you have. Everything you have or don’t have, what you are or aren’t, is because of your mind.

Considering that we have on average 60,000 thoughts in a day (around 90% of them are repetitive), a lot is happening in our minds.

Therefore, the question is not how to stop your thoughts but how to manage the mind more effectively.

It’s important to be easy on your mind while approaching it with curiosity, compassion and kindness. 

That may sound strange, but your mind is a part of you, and whether your logic comprehends it or not, your mind still wants the best for you.

Let me explain what I mean by that.

Let’s say you decide to move to another country. It is something you wanted for a while, but now there is a sense of seriousness and firmness in your decision. You are excited and determined.

After a few hours, days, maybe even weeks, exuberance subsides, and the fear starts to set in. Questions of doubt arise, and you begin to crumble. Suddenly, the idea of a new country isn’t as appealing, and you reason why you should even do it.

Does that sound familiar? You probably experienced this back and forth in your mind before.

When you begin to feel fear and doubt, you know your mind entered the scene. The reason is that it wants to protect you from suffering. Your mind loves familiarity and comfort. Anything unfamiliar and unknown represents “danger.”

Seeing the mind from this point of view gives you some understanding and hopefully compassion when it will rebuttal next time.

And when it does, here are 3 subtle, yet profound ways to better manage your mind and thoughts.

1. Don’t believe everything you think

One day, your mind tells you that you are empowered and strong while feeling determined to change your life.

But the next, it will make you shrink in fear, doubting everything you thought about yesterday.

Has that ever happened to you?

If yes, it’s because you give too much meaning to what you think.

Here is what I want you to look at: what is the truth and what is not.

Would you say with absolute confidence that you have one nose between your two eyes?

I assume that this is a firm yes.

However, is it absolutely true that you aren’t worthy or enough or can’t reach that goal you deeply desire?

Even if some part of you believes that it is true, there is hesitation because you know that it is not an absolute truth. If we look at it even more closely, we can see that is not true at all. These thoughts are often a bunch of limiting beliefs from the past you haven’t addressed. That’s all.

This is what I mean when I say: Don’t believe everything you think.

Question it. Look at it from a different angle. Seek more answers and understanding. Don’t just settle for what your mind tells you, especially if it isn’t aligning with the life you want to create.

2. Avoid duality

First, you think a thought, and then this thought produces an emotional charge. So we can say that you feel based on how you think.

When something good happens, you are happy. When something bad happens, you are sad, frustrated, or disappointed.

This rollercoaster of emotions comes down to one thing: your preferences.

The more preferences you have, the more unbalanced you feel.

This duality of like and dislike, good or bad, right or wrong, affects your thoughts and emotions and often defines how you think and feel based on outside stimuli.

Instead, see things for what they are without inputting your judgment or preferences into the space. In other words, avoid duality.

When something outside of you happens, experience it, but don’t judge it.

Here is an example: Your friend, Joy, said she doesn’t like ice cream. (I know, who doesn’t like ice cream, but for the sake of this article and your mind, we let that go).

The only thing that happened was that Joy said she didn’t like ice cream. That’s it.

But here we are, you and I, judging her profusely for not liking something that makes our hearts jump. Because of the judgment based on our personal preferences, we create an upsurge of negative emotions that unconsciously affect how we think and feel and produce more of the same.

Which leads me to…

3. Practice conscious awareness AKA mindfulness

Although you can’t manage all your thoughts, you can better attune to your feelings.

Do you remember when I said your emotions are a byproduct of your thoughts?

Therefore, become more mindful of how you feel throughout the day. Check in with yourself.

Ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? What am I thinking that makes me feel this way?”

And once you identify any negative self-talk or limiting beliefs playing out in the background, go back to step 1 and remind yourself: “I don’t have to believe everything I think.”

Maybe you catch yourself judging someone. Look at it for what it is, without duality, and ask yourself, “Do these thoughts or emotions support the person or future I am working on creating?”

Become grounded in the truth of what is, don’t judge it, and refocus. Look at what matters to you, things you want to believe, or inner work that’s required of you.

Sometimes, we let our thoughts pass by like clouds without meaning. Other times, they are here to tell us that inner work needs to be done. Both are opportunities to strengthen your mind and befriend it, instead of rejecting it.

What stood out for you the most from this article? What was your biggest insight? I’d love to know. Please feel free to leave a comment below.