How to Ease Growing Pains And Embrace Emotional Discomfort

There are two crucial truths I learned on my healing journey. The first is that I can’t go through it without experiencing growing pains, and the second is the power or willingness to be uncomfortable in the process.

When I was in the toughest places, emotionally and mentally, keeping these truths in mind is what kept me focused while working through my pain at the same time.

I realized that if we are willing to adjust our expectations of this process and accept that growing pains are simply a part of it, we experience it differently.

Although tools and techniques for healing are essential and certainly helpful, if we aren’t willing to go through some form of discomfort(which is such a keyword when it comes to our transformation), no amount of knowledge will make up for our inner drive to break the cycle of trauma, peel off the layers of our old conditioning, and move beyond it.

However, I understand that this process comes with resistance. Mind, which desires not to change but to stay the same, pushes against it.

You know the pattern, right? You decided to make a change, and the moment you did it, your mind resisted it. Suddenly, doubts crept in, and you were reconsidering your decision.

Therefore, if you want to ease into your growing pains and embrace the mental and emotional discomfort that accompanies them, you must change how you view the entire process.

Here are four steps to begin changing this narrative.

1. Become real with yourself

Listen, I know this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t change the fact that truth sets you free.

Once (as I was in the middle of my pity party, blaming the world and the barista in Starbucks for my misery), my friend cut me off in a conversation and said, “Silvia, whatever you choose to do in your life, make sure you are not lying to yourself.”

Ouch. I wanted to punch her.

Who does she think she is? I didn’t ask her for advice. She doesn’t understand that I am hurting, that’s why she says shit like this. 

Although I was undoubtedly hurting while being in a tough place in my life, when I reflected and was willing to be honest about how I got there, I knew that my suffering and my recovery were both in my hands.

When you understand that you hold the power to either destroy or improve your life, you stop being a victim and instead, take things into your hands.

Although facing off your bullshit is uncomfortable, it is also liberating. It makes you feel in control and creates a certain level of self-respect that is hard to put into words.

Once you realize this, you may start intentionally looking for areas of your life where you are not being honest with yourself. This intensifies and speeds up your growth because you become willing to go through growing pains, knowing they lead to a happier, peaceful, and joyful life.

2. Focus on benefits of growing pains 

When you recognize the discomfort that healing, change, and growth require, you may feel discouraged while thinking, “What is the point? Isn’t life supposed to be about happiness, joy, and enjoyment?”

Well, maybe it is, but do you authentically experience these states now?

On the other hand, when you focus on the benefits your growth has brought, you may naturally ease into the process.

Remember that your perception of growing pains, not the discomfort itself, inspires or discourages you.

3. Knowing the difference between happiness and familiarity

Once, my client asked me in a session, jokingly, “Isn’t it better to keep things as they are?”

She was working through some issues with her mom and although she was fully aware she had to make some big decisions, it felt stinking uncomfortable.

Although initially, we may feel relief when we choose not to change, in the long run, it exhausts us.

What motivates you to stay in your old ways is not the happiness or peace but the familiarity. It’s the safety of predicting your own misery if that makes sense.

So, the next step is to stop thinking that your comfort zone is your joy. It is nothing but the familiarity of things you know and are used to. As you can notice, it doesn’t provide emotional, mental, or spiritual fulfillment. Or does it?

4. Know that you are safe

What makes growing pains intolerable is the overthinking mind that magnifies everything. Therefore, when you feel uncomfortable, remind yourself that you are safe.

You can take 3 deep breaths and say this affirmation:

“I am safe and sound and there is nothing to fear. This is my mind trying to protect me because I am growing, evolving, and healing, but I choose to take it from here and make my own choices. I am worthy of a better, happier, and more peaceful life. All is well.”

What are your thoughts on growing pains? Feel free to share it with us in the comment section below.