Episode #148 Self-Validation vs. Self-Responsibility

Self-validation allows us to acknowledge, feel and process our emotions, while self-responsibility is where we step out of victimhood and into our power. 

When you begin to look at any area of your life that is asking for healing, acknowledging what you feel is the first step. So often, we carry our pains silently. As adults, looking at our feelings from a logical point of view, we ridicule what our emotions try to tell us. 

Validating our emotions means honoring what is there, without judgment, ridicule, or a need to change the truth within.

Once we allow ourselves to be fully expressive in our authentic, raw, and unapologetic selves, we create an outlet for stuck traumas and energies to find the way out. 

I also believe there is a sense of power in our self-expression. The energy we use to hide, pretend, or deny transmutes into letting go and feeling it through. 

Self-validation is the first step towards healing

Therefore, self-validation and recognition of our emotions is the first step toward healing the wounds. In today’s podcast episode, I will also lead you through 4 steps to apply this process to your life. 

Once we embrace what we feel and express it in a way we choose, we can acknowledge what part of us is playing a victim in a situation. 

Although this (often) hard look in a mirror is intimidating and confronting, it is the only way to take charge of our thoughts and emotions and become in control of ourselves. Responsibility means response which we are always able to choose. 

How do I want to respond to the behavior of my parents? Or how do I respond to my old thoughts that keep me stuck? How do I respond to the limiting beliefs that hold me back? 

As you can see, there is a reason why validation comes before responsibility. However, choosing how we want to think and feel ultimately seals the deal and allows us to heal fully. 

Here is a glance at this episode…

[01:16] How self-validation affects our healing and what happens when we acknowledge and feel our emotions. 

[01:56] What is the most common barrier within our healing, and how does lack of emotional validation affect our progress

[04:11] A 4-step process to acknowledge, recognize, validate, and feel our emotions.

 [06:42] An affirmation I use during this 4-step process. How it allows me to open up while withstanding the discomfort of feeling deep emotions. 

[10:29] How understanding the depth of our wounds allows us to understand more about what happened to us and use compassion instead of judgment. 

[14:10] Moving on the other side of the spectrum, stepping out of the victimhood, and recognizing where the power is.